Cthulhu and Christ

This parody below comes to us from an artist named Howard Hallis, to whom all credit is due. I’ve taken the liberty of reproducing it here because the design of his website leads me to suspect that this cartoon might be replaced by something else the next time he has a fit of artistic inspiration.

This is a brilliant piece of art. While it helps to have a prior acquaintance with the ‘Cthulhu Mythos’ that H.P. Lovecraft developed in now-classic horror stories of the 1920s and ’30s, Hallis does a vivid and effective job of conveying the central themes and feel of the Mythos. But the truly subversive genius of this cartoon lies elsewhere…about which more after you have read it.

This is, of course, a parody of a fundamentalist Christian evangelical tract. More specifically, it is a remarkably accurate take on the style of Jack T. Chick, a pamphleteer who has occupied the scungy basement of Christian evangelism since the 1960s. Both the talking heads are recognizable, stock Chick characters — the sinful, scornful unbeliever and the saintly white-haired minister.

Some cultural-studies type ought to do a book on the way that the Cthulhu mythos has oozed forth from its pulp origins to become Western pop culture’s generic Nightmare From Beyond. This parody could have been written thirty years ago — Chick goes back that far and has been remarkably, er, consistent in his output — but thirty years ago only a handful of SF and fantasy fans would have recognized Cthulhu. Nowadays ol’ squid-face is all over the place; there are, ironically, plush toys.

I put it down to fantasy-role-playing games, which have reached a far larger audience than print SF or fantasy. Gamers have borrowed the Cthulhu mythos so frequently that it’s a cliché — but one which, thanks to the eerie power of Lovecraft’s imagery, never completely loses its power to send a chill down the spine. Even the mere names — the Necronomicon, Yog-Sothoth, the corpse-eaters of Leng, the Hounds of Tindalos, and of course dread Cthulhu himself — is to feel a vast and threatening darkness.

Hallis’s parody draws on a much more specific tradition. The idea of the Campus Crusade for Cthulhu as a parody of the Campus Crusade for Christ was already live when I was in college in the 1970s. But Hallis makes their point more compactly and effectively, and therein lies the real touch of genius in this piece.

Jack T. Chick’s pamphlets speak plainly the most fundamental message of Christian evangelism: believe or be damned. It’s all about fear, the induced fear that if you don’t get straight with God you will burn in Hell. Not for Chick the sugar-coating of talk about love or morality or becoming a better person. Writing for the lowest common denominator, he zeroes in on terror.

But so pervaded is our culture with Christian ideas and imagery that it is difficult to see how nasty and inhumane Chick and his ilk really are; even those of us who are not Christians tend to respond to the fear-mongering with a kind of numbness, reacting to Chick’s ugly, drab oeuvre mainly as an offense against good taste (or a form of unintentional found humor). For the more intelligent sort of Christian, Chick is embarrassing — like a slovenly relative you can’t quite kick out of your house because, after all, he is family.

What is really incisive about Hallis’s parody is his demonstration that very little about the Christian world-view or rhetoric has to change to make it indistinguishable from Lovecraft’s nightmare. Ah, the rapture of being taken up by the Elder Gods! Worship and sacrifice are good things. Trust the preacher, he will make you fear and show you the way.

It used to be popular among a certain sort of leftist to claim that the collectivist and apocalyptic ideas in socialism made it a proper political analog of Christianity. They were arguably correct in this; where they went wrong was in considering the connection flattering to socialism rather than damning of Christianity. Hallis’s parody is a starker demonstration; the fact that both the fictional cult of Cthulhu and the all-too-real religion of Christianity both depend so fundamentally on the terror of the Gods is not grounds for exonerating the former, but rather for condemning the latter.

73 thoughts on “Cthulhu and Christ

  1. Are you sure about that link at the very top of the page? It seems to point to
    “http://dannyreviews.com/h/Art_Unix.html”.
    While that would explain why you think his website may move on to “something completely different” any time, I’m inclined to suppose you dropped a wrong link in there…

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  4. In evaluating the spread of the Cthulhu mythos, I’d also include a mention of the influence of computer games like DOOM, which feature monsters that could have come straight out of Lovecraft. The first DOOM novel mentions the Lovecraftian appearance of the monsters more than once, as well as providing choice lines like “The first one of you to talk about anything ‘eldritch’ is going to get a rocket right between the eyes.”

  5. I agree that the relationship between Christianity and socialism is very much there; both essentially have a core idea that the cruel, immoral nature of the world is justified (redeemed) by a better state of things to come. That’s as far as I agree, though: I think this common core is a *good* thing. I won’t say anymore, since I am probably the only devoted reader of this blog who was deeply influenced by Alasdair Macintyre’s “Marxism and Christianity”…

    Onto a point I hope to get more agreement on: the game that made Lovecraft a household name in roleplaying circles was, of course, Chaosium’s masterpiece “Call of Cthulu”. For readers benightedly uneducated enough not to know this game, read >John Hughes’ excellent essay that shows how playing your character’s gradual descent into madness can cure your real-life neuroses…

  6. I don’t think the humour is so much about the similarities between Cthulhu and Christ – although you’re right about Jack T Chick’s visions of hell on earth and the devil being rather Lovecraftian; I think the humour is best summarised by
    “The elder gods are coming and everyone is doomed!”. Rather than the evil lurking darkness and fire and hell of Jack T Chick’s world that can be instantly dispelled by the pixie dust of Christianity, we have the lurking horror of the Mythos powers, which… can’t be. Perhaps the humour comes from recognising that the christian promise of problems being solved by a corpse on a cross is too fairytale.

  7. Perhaps the humor comes from the fact that Jack Chick is obviously a dolt. I very much doubt that if the author attempted to parody, say, Sooren Kierkegaard, or Martin Buber, or heck, even C.S. Lewis (with the Chthulhu mythos) that it would come across as well. Though seeing “The Chthulhu Letters” *would* be fascinating…

  8. >Hallis’s parody is a starker
    >demonstration; the fact that both the
    >fictional cult of Cthulhu and the
    >all-too-real religion of Christianity >both depend so fundamentally on the
    >terror of the Gods is not grounds for
    >exonerating the former, but rather for
    >condemning the latter.

    It is all too true that modern day christians believe that they have to scare people into becoming a christian. Unfortuneately, this doesn’t have to be the case. The phrase “Fear of God” described in the bible is as fundamentally mis-understood as the phrase “free software”

  9. Jesus was, according to Christians, God made man, specifically a carpenter from Nazareth. Without considerable additional development, that’s not a frightening image (contemporary observers laughed at it). Developing the idea of the terror of God in Christianity requires a lot of additional work. Visual arts, e.g. comics, seem to have been an important tool in both Christianity and the Cthulhu Mythos. For some related discussion, see “Sense in Communication” at http://www.galbithink.org, esp. the discussion of the shift from radio drama to television drama, pp. 118-9.

  10. Jack Chick is an exponent of the Christian religion like Harry Browne is an exponent of libertarianism. He condemns the overwhelming majority of believing Christians to Hell in the name of his own particular and exclusive sect.

    To paraphrase the founder, “the idiots ye have with you always.”

  11. As someone opposed to both socialism and christianity, I nonetheless have to admit to a grudginly admiration for both. They’re stunningly brilliant tools for manipulation and attaining power.

    They both appeal to our fear and shame, and there is plenty of that to go around. They both offer worldviews that are comfortable to the everyday person. They both demonize something pleasant and essential to human beings, turning it into a scapegoat (sex for Christianity, private property and individual success for communism) and THAT adds a certain spice to both ideologies since people somehow like to feel guilty and castigated. Both are monstrous lies with enough of wise truth to them, like all the best lies. They’re both poison with something nobler thrown in to add a sweet flavour, making them particularly dangerous

    Still, eternal optimist that I am, I think mankind will eventually outgrown both of them, or at least break them down and adapt the non-damaging ideas that are often supposedly associated with them.

  12. Sex is certainly not demonised in Christianity. Adultery is. That’s where most people today have a problem.

    With regards to the post: You initially admit that Chick is a fringe figure and then ascribe his methods (using terror) to all Christians. Perhaps you would be more accurate if you said “some Protestants.”

  13. This is a Politically Correct version of the Cthulhu Mythos. Abdul Alhazred was, of course a Mad ARAB, not monk.

  14. I am more familiar with hearing–and the using–the similiarity of communism to Big religion as an attack on the crude error that only theistic religions can be violent and oppressive than as a way of praising communism or socialism.

  15. DOOM had a lot of input from Sandy Petersen, who was, of course, one of the people behind the Call of Cthulhu RPG. The Cthulhoid elements in DOOM are intentional.

  16. It’s all about fear, the induced fear that if you don’t get straight with God you will burn in Hell.

    But that’s the same fear a burglar should feel if he breaks into Eric’s house. :-)

    Your writeup misses the justification for God’s anger which should induce the fear. Given the title of this blog, I would assume that Eric is one of those Americans that believes that if you find someone on your property, messing the place up, stealing things and ignoring your requests and warnings to stop, you have a right to whip out your Colt .45 and kick his ass.

    The Christian view is that this is God’s world, we are messing it up, ignoring him and his warnings to stop, and there’s some serious trouble coming our way if we continue to do so. In this, Jack Chick’s “saintly white-haired pastor” is correct.

    Fortunately, God is waiting rather longer for a change in us than Eric probably would in the above situation. :-) “He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9.

    This is not to argue that Jack Chick’s approach to evangelism is necessarily the most effective one; but your analysis of the underpinnings of Christianity based on his writings is incomplete.

    Gerv

  17. “Sex is certainly not demonised in Christianity. Adultery is. That’s where most people today have a problem.”

    Any kind of sexual situation that isn’t between husband and wife in holy matrimony is a sin to Christians. Yep, that would qualify as “demonized” to me. Sex apparently is like nuclear power to Christians, it must be handled with extreme (almost pathological) care.

  18. “but your analysis of the underpinnings of Christianity based on his writings is incomplete.”

    Incomplete, certainly. But not wrong. Christianity isn’t all about fear. But there is fear involved, oh yes. Would you say that the images of Hell and burning sinners are devoid of fear?

  19. Would you say that the images of Hell and burning sinners are devoid of fear?

    No. But as I said in my original comment, it’s same fear a burglar should feel if he breaks into Eric’s house.

    If I tell you about something really bad that is going to happen to you, am I being a fearmonger? If it’s going to happen, then obviously not. It’s a caring thing to do to warn you about it. And even if you refuse to believe it’s going to happen, that doesn’t change my underlying motives for the warning – concern for you.

    Gerv

  20. “If I tell you about something really bad that is going to happen to you, am I being a fearmonger? If it’s going to happen, then obviously not. It’s a caring thing to do to warn you about it. And even if you refuse to believe it’s going to happen, that doesn’t change my underlying motives for the warning – concern for you.”

    Even though I’m not a Christian, I have to admit that you’ve got a point.

    Let me answer by saying that I believe there are two extremes when we analyze Christians.

    In one extreme we have the genuinely kind, sincere, and charitable Christian. This ideal fellow really loves the sinner and hates the sin and all that. This guy would be the Christian whose reasons to bring Hell into the conversation is simply genuine concern for others (even if he is mistaken about his belief, as is my oppinion). Furthermore, this guy usually isn’t a hypocrite. He knows he is a sinner himself, since everybody sins now and again, according to Christian doctrine. So he isn’t quick on the trigger about judging others, he is kind.

    Now we have the other extreme. What I call the despicable Christians. Some of these aren’t Christians at all. They’re world-class hypocrites who use religion as a tool to gain power and importance. We all know the type. Others are true believers, but hypocritical. They tend to throw stones and not looking into their own houses. This is the kind of Christian that brings Hell into the picture as a tool to gain a hold into people’s hearts for selfish reasons (either for power or for feeling better for attacking others).

    Those are the extremes. I think most Christians fall somewhere into this continuum between the charitable type and the despicable type.

  21. We should not act upon what old books say, what old men say, or what some god says.
    If we do this, we largely fail to reason.
    Too many people think they “reason” when
    they merely juggle what others’ have told them.

    The BBC documentary, Crusades, quotes a fellow growing up in the Muslim culture at the time, saying something like
    “People debate which religion is correct, Jewish, Christian, or Muslim. This is the wrong categorization.
    There are those who follow religion, but have no reason,
    and there are those who reason but no religion.”

    Yet religion has its use.
    It creates assumptions (what others call lies) upon which they live.
    When those “lies” are strongly believed,
    when get great poetry from Muslims,
    great music from Christians,
    great math tracking gods in the sky otherwise known as astrology,
    great conquests by most religions.
    But are all these benefits worth the loss of science, philosophy, and empathy with other humans.

    If religion should accustom and console people in their current circumstances, most of the world’s religions should stop frustrating truths revealed in the last century.

    The phrase “Judeo-Christian” should be “Zoroastrian-Judeo-Christian-Muslim”.
    Then note that Zoroastrians stand to their god, Christians kneel to their god, and Muslims grovel to their god.
    The more this religious lineage progresses, the more unnatural it becomes.
    The Zoroastrians were largely logically consistent with a minimalist religion.
    In the second millenium B.C, they had oddities like virgin births, 5 times a day prayers, second coming of their god Ahura-Mazda, resurrection and purging in slag but then everyone lives ever after.
    The Zoroastrians were pushed by Muslims into India, where they are now the elite, inordinately blessed as PhDs and medical doctors. The Zoroastrians are renouned for their honesty (probably their number one “commandment”) and their charity. Last generation, there were 140,000 Zoroastrians, this generation there are 70,000. After over 3,000 years, these are the last generations of Zoroastrians, partly because they know as all religions should know, that their religious leaders while once considered founts of knowledge, are in today’s world considered limited in their knowledge and simpletons.

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  23. Any kind of sexual situation that isn’t between husband and wife in holy matrimony is a sin to Christians. Yep, that would qualify as “demonized” to me.

    I wasn’t aware English had become so impoverished that “restricted” and “demonized” lost their distinct meanings and became identical.

  24. I always hate adding to old posts, but I thought I should mention that Christianity is NOT at all about fear, or at least it’s not supposed to be. It is about celebrating the life we have on earth by aiding our fellow men and women. Anyone who has read the new testament to any extent would have a decent idea of this.

    Fear WAS the mainstay of christianity for years, its a sad truth, but I think that there should be some differentiation between what the religion is actually about, and the remnents of the traditions of angry medieval preists.

    Just for a bit more background, in case anyone comes by:

    Hell isn’t even considered a major part of Christianity anymore. At least not for most Roman Catholics. Even the Pope has written and spoken arguments against the existence of a place such as Hell, or of Satan as an active foil to God.

    Hell itself is an invention of the Jews after the Babylonian captivity. It was a direct result of the influence of zoroastrism; which called for the existence of dueling gods, one good and one evil. This veiw, however, not being in line with Judaism’s monotheism was put down.

    It was reinvented after the development of Christianity, as many Jews who converted carried with them thier new beliefs. These beliefs were then worked into the formation of the new religion of Christianity.

    Jesus himself never mentions Hell, only the fires of a trash heap outside of Jerusalem. Hell and Satan are elements mainly of the book of Revelations, a questionable book “found” in the medieval time period. The only other direct reference to a satan figure is in Job, and in certain sections of Jesus’s tale. Though these instances are often considered either representative, or simply part of a mythos created by the early christians.

    Today Satan and Hell are usually considered to be simply remnents of a bygone era. A thankfully bygone era.

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  26. While I certainly agree with the condemnation of that particular branch of “evangelical” Christianity, it is a gross oversimplification to attribute such nonsense to the rest of Christianity. Millions upon millions of Christians worldwide will have nothing to do with such things, and the “turn or burn” message is, quite simply, not necessary to Christian teachings, and is widely opposed. The largest Christian organization in the world explicitly rejects it, as do many of the smaller ones.

    I mean… Not to defend Chick. The only way I’ve been able to make Chick useful in apologetics is to argue that he’s proof that supernatural evil can influence people to do nasty things.

  27. The problem with Chick’s brand of “turn and burn” is the sheer WRONGESS of his claims, especially when it comes to his depiction of other religions. (I cannot even begin to go into his misinterpretation of Catholicism and Judaism.) And, the ease with which these people abandon their faith for “The Truth.”

    Which is why the parody is a nice touch — it captures the convert’s immediacy very well.

    Plus, it’s just damn funny.

  28. It appears you’ve been spammed sir…

    In any case, JUST found this, and love it.

    Demonizing sex? Aye, demonizing anything EXCEPT a specific act between specific people, if ‘restrictive’ for those involved, would be ‘demonized’ for those not following it, is it not?

    God is love, but only if you toe the line. Fear is still a major portion of the preaching. Jesus did not preach fear, but knowledge, love and understanding. Jesus led a POLITICAL movement, attempting to get equal rights under the Romans, and was slain by his own people.

    Christianity was started by doormats, looking to have power over other doormats.

    Everyone go watch, “In Search of Jesus” hosted by Mike Wallace (or some other major news guy). Very good HISTORICAL take on Jesus. :)

    The Cthulhu/Chick thing is hilarious… hehehehe… I just discovered Chick a few months ago.

  29. I think at least part of the spread of Cthulhu’s popularity has to be credited to Chiaki Konaka. Call of Dagomon was certainly chilling and cthulhuian, and I know his other works had some lovecraftian elements in them… Remember, the digimon fandom lies in shambles today, but once it dominated the major fanfic archives and was quite possibly the strongest of all anime fandoms.

  30. Jack Chick based the format of his tracts on old communist propaganda leaflets. That is quite telling, folks. Jack Chick gives normal everyday Christians a bad name with his tinfoil hat Christianity.

  31. Attempts to “link” xtianity with the Cthulhu cult (or xtianity with communism) both miss the real mark. HPL himself made clear (in “The Street”) that the link in question is between communism and the Cthulhu cult. As racist and reactionary as he was, HPL backhandedly acknowledged through the varied fates of his protagonists that WASP xtn capitalist reality was doomed to madness and destruction. Significantly, the “dark folk,” “half breeds” and underclasses are the ones who really know what’s going on… along with those whites who join them: rogue “seekers” in his stories; communists and socialists in the world we live in (those who founded the “New School” in “The Street,” patterned after the New School for Social Research in New York City).
    Jack Chick notwithstanding, xtianity carries no power against the Old Ones in HPL’s fiction, likely reflecting his rationalist disdain for the dominant monotheist paradigm. In HPL’s fictive worldview, the fight is hopeless, whether you are the civilized WASP protagonist or the capitalist system (“civilization,” itself, in its own view). Communism, like Cthulhu, will return–capitalism’s own nature will see to that–and racists, colonialists, monotheists and all the upper classes will be eaten in the process… when the stars are right. Horrifying, unless you’re a Commie Pagan like me–bwahahahahahahahahaha!

    “That is not dead which can eternal lie/And with strange aeons, even death may die”

  32. I suppose that alot of this philosophical and religous rhetoric could entertain persons who think that mental masturbation like what is put forth here is well and good.
    The cold fact is that you will all be eaten in the end. And the end, the dear dear end is oh so soon. If your as smart as u fancy yourselves Id suggest you take a good long look within and see that the stars are churning and Mighty Cthulhu is waiting………
    PH’NGLUI MGLW’NAFH CTHULHU R’LYEH WGAH’NAGL FHTAGN

    IAO ZI DINGIR IA ZI ANNA KANPA KAKAMUMUNU!!!!!!!!

  33. having done a search on google for “cthulhu” i first found the Howard Hallis link to the above comic when selecting the link i was directed not to the cominc but to a posting from Howard Hallis stating that due to threatened leagal action by the holders of the copyrights for jack chick’s comics, Howard Hallis was forced to remove and not distribute his version of the comic. while i agree that it is a brilliant and topical spoof and political satyre, i would suggest you contact Mr Howard Hallis about any implications your posting of the strip may have on him and while i do hope that its continued access is assured i would hate to see him held accountable for any posting or distribution of the comic

  34. I think that Baruch Spinoza, Karl Marx (Moses Mordechai Levi), Adam “Spartacus” Weishaupt, Theodor Herzl, Rothschilds, Harold Wallace Rosenthal and their kind are the true “Great Race”. Communism, capitalism and few others isms are nothing more than some of their tools to achieve absolute power over this planet.

  35. Who cares if Chick Publications sues for copyright infringement?
    The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that parody and satire are not covered by copyright law so long as copyright images and recordings are not used as part of the artwork. As far as Howard Hallis is concerned, the author allowed the lawyers at Chick Publications to intimidate him much too easily; in fact, the webmaster of the Jack T. Chick parody archive at http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/ detailed his legal battles with Chick Publications and convinced them to leave him alone on the basis of this Supreme Court decision.
    H.P. Lovecraft would no doubt have been amused by all of this.

  36. I think it’s a great work of satyre…BRILLIANT.

    REMEMBER!..almost everything has moved on to a better level in the last 2000 yr.

    but,NOT christianity!

    Its is a stale religion from a bygone era…….and deserves ridicule..

  37. OK, the Cthulu comic = brilliant!

    The debate on Christianity = inane.

    Christianity has problems. Problems reconciling the Old and New Testament, problems with sectarianism. Problems with implementation vs intention.

    The Song of Solomon is a lusty peon to the carnal arts, there’s no doubt of that. But God would strike with mighty fury any who broke his laws.

    Then his son shows up and tells us that God loves everyone, except all you hypocrites who think you know what God wants.

    Fascinating to chronicle, great reading, very difficult to make stick as a coherent religion. But in the end the message should be clear- love each other and treat one another as you would have yourself treated.

    Seems simple enough, but enter human nature. We are such perversely self serving and self destructive creatures that we can use a message of love as justification to slaughter each other.

    Don’t blame God or the church for the problem of Christianity, blame those flawed creatures trying to be Christians. I have only met a few people who I consider true Christians, and they are lovely, peaceful giving folk.

    Anyway- Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!!!!!!

  38. Well, I too agree that Chick is on a tangent, and I do find humor in the parody. Much like I found humor in the darwin fish. I am a Christian however, and of the posts I sampled of others who dared so much to imply this, I have to disagree that the threat of hell isn’t clearly stated in the Bible. And yes, Jesus does mention hell. In fact, He mentions it more than heaven. Matt 5:22 & 5:29 come to mind… It is the reason He is so zealous about preaching, to warn people.
    Just trying to make a distinction. There are lots of ways people disagree about the existance of God, which religion is true, etc. Even if someone doesn’t believe that the Bible is the word of God, if you read it you can pretty easily tell what it’s trying to say, at least the major themes.
    The seeds of faith start with merely considering that the Bible could be the word of God, that it is within the realm of possibilities. It’s not as though there are no reasons to believe at all outside the Bible.

  39. Addendem – I mean, there are many reasons to believe and scare tactics should not be used to manipuate people – but the truth of the threat of hell is taught in the Bible. I’m not trying to convince anyone, just stating what I believe to be fact.

  40. —–There are many reasons to believe and scare tactics should not be used to manipuate people – but the truth of the threat of hell is taught in the Bible.

    The reason Christianity, and every other monotheistic religion uses scare tactics in order to gain converts is very simple. 1) It is extremely effective. 2) They need to use the scare tactic because the message isn’t convincing enough on its own merits. That is why every religion has needed the prop of government backing it up with strong arm of civil authority. You can have all the commandments you want but since God is powerless enforce them Himself, His adherents instead coopt the enforcement powers of the state in order compel adherence. The Ten Commandments without someone enforcing them simply become the Ten Suggestions. I think that demonstrably shows just how little true belief in their ideals most adherents have. If one truly believes that God (or Cthuhlu) is indeed all knowing and all powerful then it is impossible to thwart His will. Making human laws to enforce his commands is deliberately demeaning to God’s supreme power and contemptuous of God’s Will. It implies that they don’t really believe that God will enforce his commands, so they have to take God’s power into their own hands because God works too slowly for their tastes.

    If adherents of religion truly want to gain converts, don’t tell us what we should believe…make it obvious. Don’t make threats, don’t use the government as a proxy to enforce what you can’t. Make it so damned attractive that it would be silly to think otherwise.

    We’ll wait…

  41. >If I tell you about something really bad that is going to happen to you, am I being a fearmonger? If it’s
    >going to happen, then obviously not. It’s a caring thing to do to warn you about it. And even if you refuse
    >to believe it’s going to happen, that doesn’t change my underlying motives for the warning – concern for
    >you.

    You are absolutely right, it isn’t fearmongering when you KNOW its going to happen, but in your case you don’t KNOW its going to happen, its simply your years of indoctrination and faith telling you it is going to happen.

    Your (or at least, Mr Chicks) belief that we are all condemned to burn in hell forever unless we accept Jesus as our personal savior, based on the overwhelming evidence of a most likely fictional book written 300years after the supposed death of the man himself, is kind of like a LOTR fan telling you the armies of Modor are about to descend on the world of man – just nod politely and walk away quickly.

  42. I’ve always loved this comic. Dead-on parody of Chick. The fundamentalist delusion that you could tell someone an absurd, fantastical tale and their reaction would be “how can I join you?” rather than “this is nonsense, I have no reason to accept any of this” is nice mocked. The irony is that he makes the fictional Cthulhu cult more evil than it was in the actual stories. It’s clear from the stories that the “Old Ones” aren’t going to kill everyone, though their return will usher in an era of lawlessness and a “holocaust of ecstasy and freedom.”

    In fact, if you compare the apocalyptic “coming of the great old ones” scenario that appear in HP Lovecraft’s stories to fundamentalist Christian end-times beliefs, the Cthulhu version actually is LESS scary and crazy. Not only does the fundamentalist version have more freakish monsters than Lovecraft ever invented, not to mention the death and eternal torment of all non-”proper Christians,” but even the faithful are tested by persecution, torture, environmental calamities and deadly plagues that kill quite a few of them off. In the end, the reward for the minority that picked the right religion is that the Earth is destroyed and replaced by a new (alien) planet on which no one can die. Even Lovecraft couldn’t come up with anything more frightening than that. The scariest thing is, though, that the Cthulhu cult is fiction but actual fundamentalists are trying to make real their vision of the end of the world.

  43. Having stumbled into this page from a totally different thread, I’m absolutely fascinated by a thought that’s being put forth by some posters here – that fear is the main emotion “Christians” use to “force” people into believing the gospel. Wow, really? Have you ever in your life been “scared” into permanently changing your world view because of some fantastic lie that doesn’t have a shred of evidence to support it? (I mean look at WMD’s. The hysterics from that lasted all of 2 years before Americans started feeling a little foolish about the whole thing. I mean, who wants to be afraid forever?)

    No one stays a Christian for long if all they had to hang their faith on was some irrational fear of a burning lake of fire. Who knows, maybe Christianity heals people somehow, give their life meaning, or, God forbid, teaches people to not live in fear! Jack Chick certainly deserves to be satirized, but don’t let his simplistic views lead you to think that Christianity itself is a cartoon. Christianity is bigger that you or me, and will survive long after all our accounts have been deleted. For that, at the very least, Christianity deserves our respect.

    Humbly submitted.

  44. Calvert said
    {If adherents of religion truly want to gain converts, don’t tell us what we should believe…make it obvious. Don’t make threats, don’t use the government as a proxy to enforce what you can’t. Make it so damned attractive that it would be silly to think otherwise. }

    Well said, Calvert, and point taken. ;) I’m a Christian and I agree with what you say- the Christian life should be exactly that. Unfortunately we’re not perfect, so it doesn’t show up that way much of the time, but you might want to talk to a few Christians about some stuff God’s done for them. I’ll bet you get some great stories.

    A quick and tangible example: I forgot to bring a calculator to a midterm this semester, and I needed one. A guy near me had an extra one he didn’t know he had- and lent it to me. Very simple, very nearly coincidental. But I just know it was God- this guy shouldn’t have had an extra one. There are far more dramatic and obvious examples out there to be had, if you only look.

    In the meantime I’ll be over here trying to…er…let my light shine more. (Pardon the song lyrics. ;) )

    As to the comic…I just kept thinking how much Davy Jones from POTC2 looked like Cthulhu. :blush of ignorance:

  45. Did you ever read ‘Acute Spiritual Fear,’ by Robert M. Price? It’s here: http://www.robertmprice.mindvendor.com/fic_acute.htm , and I think you’d like it: it compares Jesus Christ to Wilbur Whateley. After all, both were poor, disliked, from small towns, persecuted, and killed, and both caused things to happen after their deaths-Christ’s resurrection and Wilbur Whateley’s brother causing havoc. What if Jesus was also a half-breed? LOL

  46. Actually Cathulu could never be as cruel as God is postulated to be in Christianity. Cathulu is insain, he has an excuse, where as God is portrayed as compleatly cognizant of his actions. Cathulu kills randomly….something God leaves to nature, God makes suffering live for eternity, a level of malice Kathulu is compleatly unable to match. “Christianity” is really “Paulianity”. Paul is almost THE POLAR OPPOSIT OF JESUS, and is the only “apostle” that never met him. Paul took Christianity, which portrayed worldly institutions and authorities as subverted by Satan (understandable!) and turned it into Paulianity, a vehicle of oppresion to be employeed by those very institutions and authorities! Paul WAS A TRIATOR TO JESUS, and it was his hatred and bigotry that led to the inquisition, with the Holocaust mearly being the latest PROTASTANT instalment of the inquisition. Paul was a murderer and a consumatly evil man, and he braged of continuing murderes in the New TESTAMENT which was doctored by the church to include him so as to justify “any means” the cearly church thought nessasary. The early Christians brought on the dark ages by burning every available book starting with the library of Alexandria and they are still burning books…(origin of species, special relativity, the works of Freud, etc.)

  47. I’ve dropped Christianity, but there are references to socialism in this thread that need a reply.
    The fact that government bosses would be no more sympathetic to the worker than private corporation bosses was expounded in 1920 by Bertrand Russell, (an aristocrat and a Socialist). Nevertheless, the idea that a country should be run by and for the wealthy, at the expense of the financially lower classes, was one that he fought for his entire life.

    If I have to choose between following Jesus (not Paul, Bill Wesley’s right) and the worship of Mammon which is the real religion of the USA, I prefer the Nazarene. Jesus truly did live in a time when all worldly institutions (from Solomon’s Israel, to Pilate’s Rome, and not excluding the Sanhedrin) were Satanic. But his advice was that you treat your fellow-man kindly, whether he be a Roman soldier or a Palestinian.

    The idea that socialism is a failure, and capitalism a success, (from the point of view of the general citizenry) has become even less tenable of late. You’d think that holdings in the energy business should be pretty safe, but Enron managed to go spectacularly bankrupt. Being an actual dealer in the stock market should indicate high financial acumen, but we’ve been asked to rescue those experts.

    Add to that the fact that private companies have completely failed to make a success of what is probably the cleanest fuel source on Earth, nuclear power, and the private drug companies spend more money on lawyers and PR people than they do on scientists.

    France’s government chose nuclear power, and it gives them 75% of their electricity at least.

    The biggest navies in the world have ships that can run for three years without refuelling. The US Navy is a government agency, and saves millions of gallons per ship per year by using nuclear fuel. That’s a better miracle than just walking on the water. It was accomplished by the brilliance of people who loved science and engineering, and were willing to do their thing for a decent and fairly secure living. That’s what a good socialist government provides.

    Hitler was a Catholic, and Stalin worshipped his own power. Neither one was an atheist, nor a socialist.

    But indeed, Jesus of Nazareth was a socialist, and so was the prophet Amos.

  48. Absolutely amazing what we ‘humans’ can delude ourselves into believing if we try hard enough isn’t it? Humor(?) is a pretty good motivator when you want to get your point across about something that you don’t agree with, “laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’ll cry alone”, point taken but whose to say that Mr. Chick isn’t more ‘on-target’ than any of you here might realize and just because “we think” something isn’t true, whose to say that we’re not the ‘wrong’ ones and this man is doing nothing more than trying to warn us before it’s too late? Yeah, it’s easy to shake your head, form your own ideas and say, “this guys a real nut job, and so are those other twisted folk (Christians especially I guess) who believe the same things that he does”. “Nah, I don’t believe in that hell theory, or heaven, or even God for that matter, organized(???) religion is nothing but a lie that’s never been proved by anybody”.

    So, maybe one day, you lie down to go to sleep and something happens where you ‘never’ wake up, and suddenly you find yourself in one of the worst places that you can ever imagine, with some of the worst and most hideous things that you’ve ever come upon in your life. You’re screaming your lungs out, “Wake up, wake up, it’s only a dream, and someone will pinch me and I’ll come out of this dream”, only it isn’t a dream and you can’t wake yourself up. Your imagination ‘isn’t’ playing tricks on you, there’s no one there to help you, and guess what you really are dead and in that place that you didn’t really believe existed. What’s the plan to ‘get out of there’?
    Yeah, alot of you here are probably saying this guys a plant for those crazy Christians, and we aren’t buying this for one moment. He isn’t going to change my mind and I’m going to stick to what I believe, or don’t believe come hell or high water no matter what. When I leave here, they’re just going to put my body in the ground and that’s going to be that.

    Let me leave this forum with a very thought provoking and dangerously serious question, and I ask that you ‘think’ about what you’re going to say before posting, even if you think you already know what you’re going to say. WOULD ALL OF YOU HERE WHO SAY THAT YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN GOD, JESUS, OR CHRISTIANITY EVEN BE WILLING WITH “EVERYTHING” IN YOU TO REALLY AND HONESTLY PUT YOUR IMMORTAL SOULS ON THE LINE, WITH THE ‘CHANCE’ THAT YOU MIGHT BE WRONG AND THAT YOUR ‘FATE’ MIGHT BE “SEALED” BY THE DECISION THAT YOU’VE ALREADY MADE? WHAT IF WHAT MR. CHICK AND A FEW OTHERS HAVE STATED IS ‘RIGHT’ AND GOD DOES EXIST AND HIS SON JESUS CHRIST, AND THEY DID WANT THE BEST FOR ALL OF MANKIND BUT IN YOUR STUBBORN AND HARD HEADEDNESS, YOU CLOSED YOURSELF OFF FROM BELIEVING OR ACCEPTING THEM IN ‘ANY’ MANNER AND HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE WHAT ‘YOU BELIEVE AS THE TRUTH’ TO YOUR GRAVES, WHERE AN ETERNITY OF UTTER PAIN, DARKNESS, AND EVERYTHING BEYOND WICKEDNESS AWAITS YOU? If you’ve said, “Yes” and are willing to stick by your answer, then I feel sorry and pained for you, because although the saying, “to each his own” might apply here I’m most definitely NOT willing to gamble with my own soul and take the chance that I’m most definitely WRONG.
    Out of all the things that I’ve lived through in my 40t years of living, there’s one thing that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt and that’s the fact that God and His Son Jesus have done more for me than ‘any’ other human being on this earth ever could (and that includes my family, even if you never believe it), and that means more to me then you’ll ever realize. Whatever name you call me (fool, rose-colored classes wearer, etc.) that’s fine, I’m willing to continue to pray for all of you just the same (even if you never asked or wanted me to do so) in the hope that something will happen to change your mind(s). Life is shorter than we realize, and for some, the end is nearer then they know. God help each and every one of you.

  49. Absolutely amazing what we ‘humans’ can delude ourselves into believing if we try hard enough isn’t it? Humor(?) is a pretty good motivator when you want to get your point across about something that you don’t agree with, “laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’ll cry alone”, point taken but whose to say that Mr. Hallis isn’t more ‘on-target’ than any of you here might realize and just because “we think” something isn’t true, whose to say that we’re not the ‘wrong’ ones and this man is doing nothing more than trying to warn us before it’s too late? Yeah, it’s easy to shake your head, form your own ideas and say, “this guys a real nut job, and so are those other twisted folk (Cthulhu worshippers especially I guess) who believe the same things that he does”. “Nah, I don’t believe in that Cthulhu theory, or Shub Niggurath, or even Outer Gods for that matter, the mythos is nothing but a lie that’s never been proved by anybody”.

    So, maybe one day, you lie down to go to sleep and something happens where you ‘never’ wake up, and suddenly you find yourself in one of the worst places that you can ever imagine, with some of the worst and most hideous things that you’ve ever come upon in your life. You’re screaming your lungs out, “Wake up, wake up, it’s only a dream, and someone will pinch me and I’ll come out of this dream”, only it isn’t a dream and you can’t wake yourself up. Your imagination ‘isn’t’ playing tricks on you, there’s no one there to help you, and guess what you really are insane and in that place that you didn’t really believe existed. What’s the plan to ‘get out of there’?
    Yeah, alot of you here are probably saying this guys a plant for those crazy Cthulhu fools, and we aren’t buying this for one moment. He isn’t going to change my mind and I’m going to stick to what I believe, or don’t believe come hell or high water no matter what. No Great Old Ones are going to awaken on Earth and that’s going to be that.

    Let me leave this forum with a very thought provoking and dangerously serious question, and I ask that you ‘think’ about what you’re going to say before posting, even if you think you already know what you’re going to say. WOULD ALL OF YOU HERE WHO SAY THAT YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN ELDER GODS, YOG-SOTHOTH, OR THE MYTHOS ITSELF EVEN BE WILLING WITH “EVERYTHING” IN YOU TO REALLY AND HONESTLY PUT YOUR IMMORTAL SOULS ON THE LINE, WITH THE ‘CHANCE’ THAT YOU MIGHT BE WRONG AND THAT YOUR ‘FATE’ MIGHT BE “SEALED” BY THE DECISION THAT YOU’VE ALREADY MADE? WHAT IF WHAT MR. HALLIS AND A FEW OTHERS HAVE STATED IS ‘RIGHT’ AND CTHULHU DOES EXIST AND THE GREAT OLD ONES, AND THEY DID WANT TO EAT YOU FIRST BUT IN YOUR STUBBORN AND HARD HEADEDNESS, YOU CLOSED YOURSELF OFF FROM BELIEVING OR ACCEPTING THEM IN ‘ANY’ MANNER AND HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE WHAT ‘YOU BELIEVE AS THE TRUTH’ TO YOUR GRAVES, WHERE AN ETERNITY OF UTTER PAIN, DARKNESS, AND EVERYTHING BEYOND WICKEDNESS AWAITS YOU? CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME!!! If you’ve said, “Yes” and are willing to stick by your answer, then I feel sorry and pained for you, because although the saying, “to each his own” might apply here I’m most definitely NOT willing to gamble with my own soul and take the chance that I’m most definitely WRONG.
    Out of all the things that I’ve lived through in my 40,000 years of living, there’s one thing that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt and that’s the fact that Azathoth has done more for me than ‘any’ other human being on this earth ever could (and that includes my family, even if you never believe it), and that means more to me then you’ll ever realize. Whatever name you call me (fool, rose-colored classes wearer, etc.) that’s fine, I’m willing to continue to chant for all of you just the same (even if you never asked or wanted me to do so) in the hope that something will happen to change your mind(s). Life is shorter than we realize, and for some, the end is nearer then they know. Azathoth help each and every one of you.

    Fixed. Your welcome.
    :D

  50. Thanks, Spuds. I know that’s what Jean K. meant, but she was typing so fast she made a lot of typos. Fortunately the typos didn’t make any difference to the strength of her argument.

  51. You know, I was right with you up until the last two paragraphs, when you began using the assumption that Jack T. Chick’s (Messiah complex, anyone?) version of Christianity is *the* Christianity, the one that everyone follows. To assume that the “Christian worldview” has anything to do with that psycho is just as laughable as imagining that Chick actually knows anything about D&D or Wiccans.

  52. Spuds, you have earned your wings. Witnessing is a requirement of your faith, which is why you pray for us even though we didn’t ask you to. Kol hakavod on that.

    Meanwhile, God has made it clear that all men will have one final chance to repent at the time of Final Judgment. According to your definition, the hard-headed souls you describe will be just as hard-headed once they face the Almighty, and because of that hard-headedness (wickedness) they shall be cast into the lake of fire. Many souls, however, will choose to repent and accept Jesus as their savior. Those souls shall be saved.

    There are also souls across this planet who have never been witnessed; perhaps they live in obscure corners of the Amazon, or hidden in deep Himalayan caves. It is for this reason that God established that all souls will have a final opportunity to repent.

    Those souls who repent early, i.e. during this physical existence, will be gathered into a special class who are set aside prior to and during the time of Final Judgment. They will not need to face the horrors of confronting the truth which they did not believe, or did not know about, during their physical lives. Perhaps that will make the spiritual transition so much easier that it is worth accepting your postulate now.

    I hope you will see this as a sincere response to your post. You asked for open-minded, clear consideration and thought and, since the better part of a year has passed without response from anyone in your target audience, I decided to take the time and write this.

    May it represent the positive thoughts and feelings of decent, modern peoples everywhere. Peace be with you.

  53. Sorry, Spuds, my message was for Jean K. It’s been over a year since anyone responded to her with sincerity.

    Your post was amusing, though.

  54. “Sex apparently is like nuclear power to Christians, it must be handled with extreme (almost pathological) care.”

    That’s about the size of it.

    Considering the severe social pathologies arising from our soaring illegitimacy rate, I don’t have a problem with it.

  55. Screw all you middlebrow posers. Jack T. Chick is one of the greatest comic artists of our time.

  56. Well…

    There is no space in a fanatic person’s mind for a laugh. Religion is a too much serious matter for they.

    People commit terrible things in the name of religion, from remote times to nowadays.

    Making a parallel with the Cthulhu Mythos is inevitable.

    When in fiction people read mythos related tomes, get in contact with the entities influence and starts to fanatically worship and follow them – people get insane.

    When in real life people read religious books, get in contact with leaders influence, assume this stuff as being “the real truth” and starts to fanatically worship and follow them – people get insane.

    Ok fanatic guys – there “is” a possibility that a cosmic_entity-god-something actually exists and influenced humanity, creating one or more than one religion.

    However…

    ALL the religious texts and book from ALL were written by HUMAN hands.
    ALL the religions are managed and staffed by HUMAN minds.

    IF you research some historical facts about your favorite religion, you WILL realize that it WERE used in the past to MANIPULATE people in some way or another – and IS STILL BEING USED.

    The simple fact that people in any religion can become a priest-preacher-leader_of_some_sort and LIVE ON BELIEVERS MONEY confirms this.

    This is not the fault of the Cosmic_entity-god-something that created it (if it really exists). It is HUMANITY’S FAULT.

    You can believe in anything you want.

    But…

    Isn’t wise to SURRENDER your COMMON SENSE, FREEDOM OF WILL and SANITY to another HUMAN.

    A HUMAN like you – that can be “someone with good intentions”, or just someone SMART enough to hide it’s intentions beyond a “holyness-god_blessed-instrument_of_the_entity” FACADE to EXPLOIT the people around they. Or that can be a fanatic brainwashed dummy.

    DO NOT BLINDFOLD YOURSELVES.
    THE ONLY TRUTH IS THAT THERE IS NO ABSOLUTE RELIGIOUS TRUTH.

    Abgail Y. O. Samedi

  57. I, like Stinky Pants, am a Christian. I believe there is definately a God. I have seen the power of prayer work first hand. Now, it is true that the Kingdom of God is within you so perhaps it is the power of positive thinking that changed the fabric of time and space to manifest my desires. But I digress. My point is, if you believe in Hell or Cthulhu or whatever then you must also belive in God and salvation. Everything has an oppisite. Yin and Yang. Good and Evil. Balance.

  58. *Just like the Robert Mitchum Movie!!

    “It really doesn’t matter!!Sooner or later,we’ll all be on the meny…
    all of us!!”-Lloyd Bochner:”The Twilight Zone”.

    GUSTATUS SIMILIS PULLIS!!!

  59. I’m surprised that nobody’s mentioned many religious views of Heaven, so-called “union” with an infinite deity, all boils down to being eaten. Assimilated, absorbed, consumed, eaten, these are all words for the same thing. Perhaps the mindless morons who make up the general population have no problem with this because they have no consciousness to speak of. Thus they do not care if they lose it. As part of the 2-4% of the population that does have consciousness, I find the idea of being consumed by a deity disgusting. And the idea of worshipping the entity that does this despicable.

    A half hour ago I also learned that one of the so-called “names of god” in Islam is “all-compeller”. Since nothing can both compel me and people who cherish core values that are *the logical negations of mine* (and I have met one such person) then it follows the power to compel can only be force. Thus, muslims worship pure force. Rather than my attitude which would be to destroy it. I now find Islam despicable rather than faintly revolting.

  60. @Richard, most ideas of “union” probably scare me more than Hell (though that’s not a good reference point for me; it’s been a long time since I would have been worried about going there). It’s primarily through the experiential aspects of Christianity that I’ve become certain that that is not how it happens for us. (If it were, I suppose He would just step in and deprive us of the free will to create suffering.) There are some things that might otherwise make me squirm, like the mention in the Bible of people praising God nonstop in Heaven–what if they want to take a break and enjoy a taco? Again, it’s the experiential stuff that resolves it for me. In that example, I notice that I praise God most frequently when I’m having a very nice day; I’ll extrapolate that perhaps in Heaven we have such nice days that we constantly find things to voluntarily praise God for. In this life, my relationship with Him has been one of borderline-filial friendship rather than that of pawn and overseer, and I have cherished the fact that He values my independent existence and my uniqueness more than the vast majority of humans. Perhaps the “becoming like Christ” thing would still be disconcerting to some people. I don’t know. As I don’t view it as tampering with the important stuff, I’d personally LIKE to be an infinitely loving magical telepath who annoys strictly those with tainted motives, so that part doesn’t bother me much personally. (At least it appeals to me right now, while I am distinctly NOT getting nails pounded into the extra-sensitive nerve clusters of my wrists to hold my raw whip-wounds against splintery wood in order to slowly suffocate me to death via inescapable muscle cramping while my ex-fanbase makes fun of me and strangers gamble for my underwear.) But I don’t know everyone else’s perspective.
    But one thing is certain: I shall never bring myself to convert to something like Buddhism under any circumstances. May I never live in this life or any other without my “illusion of the self” or whatever they call it.

    On the main subject of Jack Chick: I know he technically believes the same core doctrine I do, so I should try my best to like him somehow. But ye shall know a tree by its fruit, and his tastes strange…kind of bitter with all kinds of strange contamination. <:p It doesn't help that my mother always taught me that an artist's work reflects his personality and mental state whether he wants it to or not, so the harsh style (improved when he got his own art staff, I suppose) is especially off-putting.
    I should also come clean about my slight pre-existing vendetta against gospel tracts. I've known a person who was more willing to give out tracts disguised as $20 bills than actual $20 bills to people he knew had trouble affording school supplies. I hope he's better about that kind of thing nowadays, because I do care about his soul.
    So anyway, I think the Cthulhu version of the tract is an improvement. Even God likes humor or the Hebrew of the Old Testament wouldn't be so punny!

    Irrelevant postscript: John Todd haunts my nightmares.

  61. Pingback: Stocking stuffer links. « Humanist+Humorist

  62. Well, I can understand why Chick & Co. would get honked off by this dubbing of their tracts to promote the Cthulhu Mythos, but I am not a Christian and get honked off by these setting of dates for the end of the world, etc. No evidence whatsoever exists that, say, the righteous started to be resurrected as spirits in late 1918, or that Christ came to the “heavenly temple” in 1844 to begin the Investigative Judgement. Such is based on messing around with dubious passages in such spurious books as Daniel & Revelations.

    Anyway, this – idiot George- should not believe this devil worshipper about the Great Old Ones coming to clear off the earth for their own purposes. He produced NO evidence. It’s all a fiction…

  63. I couldn’t help but find this funny even though I’m a christian and agree with Jack Chic’s view of the afterlife (I even use his tracts in evangelism sometimes, mostly because they are comic books and most people seem terrified of actual reading) That said I have noticed some mistakes on this forum both in regards to christianity and the fiction of H. P. Lovecraft (who was my favorite author before I discovered C. S. Lewis and is still probably my third or fourth favorite, but I digress) some of these points have already been pointed out but I thought it would be nice to summarize.

    As far as Lovecraft goes:
    As far as I know it is never explicitly said that when Cthulhu and his buddies wake up all humanity will be eaten and go extinct but it is said (by Cthulhu cultists) that they will teach us new ways of killing and such, bringing in an age of pleasure and freedom (and insanity one assumes)
    It hasn’t been pointed out yet but Cthulhu and most of Lovecraft’s fictional deities were heavily implied to be sufficiently advanced aliens rather than actual cosmic beings (Cthulhu himself, though worshipped by his cult is just the “high priest” of R’yleh, presumably to what we call “the Outer Gods”, which ARE supernatural cosmic beings)
    Also his creatures are never really described as “evil”, and are rarely actively hostile to humanity in general (most of them just seem not to care about us one way or the other, or just see us as food) and even the Great Old Ones did not cause instant and irreversible insanity, nor was there a sharp dividing line between “sane” and “insane” (part of the whole point really)
    That this “tract” exaggerates the Evil and Insanity of Lovecraft’s work so much makes it just as good a parody of “Lovecraft Lite” as much as Chic Tracts.

    On Christianity:
    God is not cruel and unjust in the Old Testament. He set up a legal system where outsiders (“those that sorjun with you”) who lived among the israelites were to be considered equal (so long as they followed God’s laws, which in this case was also the country’s legal code since He set this nation up personally) He advocated the rights of women (children were to honor their fathers and mothers both, and check out the book of Joshua where a man dies leaving three daughters but no son, they were dividing up the land of Canaan at the time and everybody thought the women shouldn’t get any land but God disagreed) and made sure trials would be just (by requiring two eyewitnesses whose testimony matched to convict and requiring that the accuser be the primary executioner, remember this was way before forensic evidence so all convictions were by testimony). People complain a lot that God wiped out Sodom,Gomorrah,Egypt,and Canaan but you also have people complaining that God allows evil and suffering so apparently in the court of public opinion God is “damned is you do, damned is you don’t” since He is not allowed to stop sin OR allow it to continue.
    Jesus was definitely not a political revolutionary, that was the official reason for His execution, not something He actually did (and don’t think for a minute that people are never punished for things they didn’t do. Especially when they annoy people with authority.)
    The Bible was not intended as fiction. People didn’t write fiction like that and the Bible itself claims to be true (“we do not follow cleverly devised fables”), if it’s not true then it’s propaganda, not fiction. And I can’t imagine hundreds of people, including the leaders of the movement, dying horribly for claiming to see something they knew was a lie when they could get away by denying it, can you? Such a conspiracy makes the X-Files look extremely plausible by comparison.
    The Bible was not written hundreds of years after Jesus died. Nor was it translated and retranslated over and over. A detailed discussion on this is way beyond the scope of this forum so I’m just going to refer you to the book “The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism” by Timothy Keller which also covers the rest of this stuff in more detail (about christianity, not lovecraft or chic tracts). If you disagree with me please don’t just laugh about it. Whether true or false the validity of the Bible is an important topic (if false then millions of people are wasting their lives for a lie, if true your soul is at stake) so please, please READ THE BIBLE FOR YOURSELF. This is too important a subject to just trust to other people, no matter who they are (me included). I recommend reading the New Testament first
    as it is much shorter and easier to understand then the Old Testament. You can get a copy of it in an accurate, modern english translation for only $1.99 with free shipping here:
    Amazon.com: ESV Outreach New Testament (9781581348354)

    About Chic Tracts:
    people complain about chic tracts a lot, but the main complaints seem to be
    1.his saying that most people will go to Hell for their sins (evil deeds)
    2.his saying that the only way to get to Heaven is to ask God to forgive you
    because Jesus died in your place
    3.his art style (or how characters hostile to christianity are always ugly, and
    christians are always pretty)
    4.him whacking you over the head with his message
    5.how people in them seem to have never heard of Jesus
    6.the often ridiculous ease with which people are convinced
    7.his apparently poor understanding of other religions, science, or popular
    entertainment (D&D)

    these are all answerable with minimal effort (except maybe the last one)
    1.This is what the Bible actually teaches. Jesus Himself says,when asked if few be saved “broad is the way that leads to destruction” and in Revelation we read that “all liars” (in other words everyone) will be cast into the lake of fire

    2.Again this is indeed what the Bible teaches. Jesus says “I am the Way,the Truth,and the Life. No man comes to the Father but by Me” and in Paul’s letters we read “there is no other name under heaven, given among men, whereby we must be saved.”

    3.I would have to agree his art style is sometimes a bit too cartoony for serious subject matter. And while ugly does equal bad, and pretty equals good in these, note that the same character will switch in-between depending on what they are saying and even christians look ugly before being saved (so it’s not so much “christians are pretty, ugly people are sinners” more “this is what we look like on the inside” or perhaps “emotional face!, important point!!, emphasis!!!”). As for how christians in them always act kind and loving and atheist always act rude and hateful, which we know isn’t always the case, well if it showed the christians being rude and atheist nice then it would undermine it’s own point and you’d have an even harder time with how easily people are convinced (I don’t know about you but I would believe a nice, serious, apparently sincere person before a obnoxious blowhard)

    4.Most of this can just be boiled down to the fact that these comics are what TV Tropes calls “Anvilious”, they have to be: they’re trying to make a point and they’re only 22 tiny pages long. If they were any bigger people wouldn’t give them out or read them,but being so small they can’t be subtle or complex. Just think how blunt political comics are, they’re only a single panel, same thing here.

    5.Most of the tracts where people haven’t heard of Jesus are the ones for children, who may actually not have.

    6. Would you read these (even just to make fun of) if they showed several months (or years) of the main character’s life to show them talking to christians on multiple occasions about this stuff, maybe research it , come back with questions, maybe get some answers, struggle about it and finally make a decision? The thing would be book-sized! I know I wouldn’t and I actually talk to people about this stuff! Just assume their already struggling with these issues on the inside (nice side effect of explaining why they’re so defensive) and the events shown are only the tail-end of a long and difficult process.

    7. These I actually can’t explain for the most part.

    As far as Jack Chic’s own salvation goes, he’s shown he understands the gospel, and if he hasn’t actually asked God for forgiveness through Christ then he seems awfully devoted to something he doesn’t really believe in. Besides the only evidence he’s ever given of not being saved is ignorance and insensitivity so I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. Not to say their aren’t false brethren out there, much less that they don’t get into leadership positions, the Bible itself tells
    us there will be wolves in sheep’s clothing (remember the “reverend” who wanted to burn a bunch of Qur’an’s? I get a pretty strong feeling about him. Just saying.)

    Sorry for the length of this post, but this chic thing has been building up for awhile…

  64. Should I keep a bottle of barbecue sauce on hand at all times? I’d hate to be eaten without anything to add some extra flavor. Or perhaps some honey Dijon mustard? That could be nice, too. Then again, Cthulhu (Horror Be Upon Him) might prefer the flavor enhancement of something simple, such as sea salt and garlic. What do the rest of you think?

  65. If god is all powerful and all knowing, how can it get angry at humans not doing what it wants them to do? The god creature would have known beforehand that Eve would fall to the snake’s temptation, that Cain would kill Abel, that Sodom and Gomorrah, etc… But it gets angry anyway and then it just goes totally genocidal maniac on the planet. It even kills the animals!

    The only logic conclusion is then that this god creature is not all powerful and all knowing, but rather a total lunatic who should be locked away into an asylum.

    I know what comes next: “God can see into the future but he doesn’t always do that.” I’ve been told that once by some JWs as “counter argument”. The problem is that this statement means that god is a linear being. There’s a past, a present and a future for it, just as for us. That means that god, at some point, began, was born, came into existence, because everything that is linear has a beginning and an end. It also means that god will end at some point.

    And that doesn’t even count for the hair raising arrogance of all monotheists. Yeah, your crappy written superman is the one true god, of course. None other can stand. Only yours, not any other of the infinite number of gods that exist on this planet right now. Yes, it’s an infinite number. You can thank the Japanese and their Shinto for this. Shinto, officially, has 8 million gods, but that 8 million actually means “infinite”. So… which one is the true one? Oh, yours of course, because your corrupt clergy tells you so.

    Most importantly, however, Cthulhu ate god already. And it was a great feast with much rejoicing. And Cthulhu did grin and He did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats.

  66. Go ahead and mock Christianity. But if you wan real, stone cold, bone chilling horror….

    …. Committee of Public Safety ….. Revolutionary justice …. gulag…. ChK …. NKVD … KGB …. Laogai ….. killing fields …. pol pot …. auschwitz …. majdanek …. treblinka …. dachau ….. Kermit Gosnell ….. Josef Mengele …. Feliks Dzerzhinski …. Mao Zedong …. Ioseb Besarionis Dze Jugashvil …. Marat …. Robespierre….. Great Leap Forward …. Great Cultural Revolution …. Great Purges ….. Great Terror …..

    You want horror? Don’t look for it in Christianity, which merely warns of its consequences. Look to politically entrenched secularist Leftism, which creates a Cthuloid monstrosity in every body politic in which is takes root. In other words, look in a fucking mirror.

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