I contemplete this
Earth’s north magnetic pole is drifting away from North America and
toward Siberia at such a clip that Alaska might lose its spectacular
Northern Lights in the next 50 years, scientists said Thursday.
The story goes on to say “exactly why this happens is a mystery”.
No it isn’t, or no it won’t be as soon as the unenlightened masses grasp the
truth: It’s all George Bush’s fault for not ratifying the Kyoto treaty.
You see, Halliburton has plans for making huge profits in the
navigational-equipment market. The pole shift is a nefarious
neoconservative plot to make all existing compasses obsolete. Mwa ha
ha. But you can stop it — just hook up with your local pathetic
Communist-remnant organization and take to the streets screaming “No
war for magnetite!”
(The preceding is satire. Any resemblance to actual moonbat conspiracy
theories is not coincidental in the slightest.)