{"id":152,"date":"2004-09-16T17:59:54","date_gmt":"2004-09-16T22:59:54","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=152"},"modified":"2004-09-16T17:59:54","modified_gmt":"2004-09-16T22:59:54","slug":"cbs-and-sco-charge-bush-stole-unix","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/?p=152","title":{"rendered":"CBS and SCO Charge: Bush stole Unix!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>OREM, UTAH &#8212; In a startling and unexpected joint press conference, CBS<br \/>\nand SCO, Inc. charged today that President George W. Bush had<br \/>\nconspired with IBM to steal Unix code while Linus Torvalds was AWOL<br \/>\nfrom the Finnish army.<\/p>\n<p>Standing shoulder-to-shoulder at the podium, Dan Rather and Darl McBride<br \/>\nflourished what they said was documentary proof, in the form of source<br \/>\ncode listings found in a wastebasket at Texas Air National Guard<br \/>\noffices.<\/p>\n<p>Open-source hackers and bloggers immediately questioned the report.  &#8220;In<br \/>\n1972 Linus was like, three years old!&#8221; one Slashdotter commented.  &#8220;I could<br \/>\nbe wrong, but I don&#8217;t think they let toddlers into the Finnish army&#8221;.  Others<br \/>\npointed out that the listings were laser-printed on sheet-fed paper<br \/>\nusing a technology not available in any form until 1978 and not deployed<br \/>\nby the Texas Air National Guard until after 1984.  The Linux operating<br \/>\nsystem was launched in 1991.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We at CBS have consulted numerous experts and believe these to be accurate,&#8221;<br \/>\nDan Rather said, &#8220;but it doesn&#8217;t really matter whether or not they are<br \/>\nauthentic. George W. Bush&#8217;s role in flouting the intellectual-property laws<br \/>\nof this country must be fully investigated.  It&#8217;s not the nature of the<br \/>\nevidence, it&#8217;s the seriousness of the charges!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;SCO is seeking additional discovery from IBM,&#8221; added Darl McBride.<br \/>\n&#8220;We have confidence that if we can just get our hands on every IBM<br \/>\ncode listing from the dawn of time and depose every IBM employee<br \/>\nliving or dead, we will be able to drag this case out long enough to<br \/>\nswing not just the the 2004 elections but the 2008 ones as well!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In related news, the Kerry campaign &#8212; still struggling to rebut<br \/>\ncharges of computer illiteracy raised by the Swift Vets&#8217; searing<br \/>\nexpose &#8220;Unfit for COMMAND.COM&#8221; &#8212; is rumored to have received a<br \/>\ndonation from Bill Gates that included both a large wad of cash and<br \/>\nall known remaining copies of &#8220;Microsoft Bob&#8221;.  Spokepersons could not<br \/>\nbe reached for comment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>OREM, UTAH &#8212; In a startling and unexpected joint press conference, CBS and SCO, Inc. charged today that President George W. Bush had conspired with IBM to steal Unix code while Linus Torvalds was AWOL from the Finnish army. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder at the podium, Dan Rather and Darl McBride flourished what they said was documentary&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/?p=152\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">CBS and SCO Charge: Bush stole Unix!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=152"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=152"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=152"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/esr.ibiblio.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=152"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}